This of course spawned an idea for me, because I hate plush toilet seats. Seriously, who wants to sit on something squishy and (usually) mildly sticky when they go to the bathroom? I always assume that it’s sticky because somebody left a surprise on the seat, and since they retain heat going immediately after somebody else is that much more unpleasant.

So of course we deemed it “Satan’s Seat” and avoided it for something like a month before buying a new, smooth wooden seat. In the meantime we filmed a video about it. This was also to be John Dalbey’s last video with us before he moved to Germany to get married, so we had to do him in.

We didn’t want to kill him off though, hoping that he’d be back someday, so we just debilitated him at the end.

RufioJJ (his real name is Jon but he’s better known as Rufio on the intertubez) played our blind guy/Satan and was also the interviewer off camera. We hope to have him in another video someday assuming he ever comes back from the happiest place on Earth, where he’s been working for a while now.

This was also Cody’s debut. He and I generally do play pranks on blind people when we get the chance, but this was a particularly mean fabrication of sorts.

Interesting fact: John’s ring tone in the video was from a flash cartoon that came out when I was in high school. It’s still awesome.

Slightly less interesting fact: I bought that wicker chair (which I call my throne) for $4 at a yard sale across the street.

VASTLY less interesting fact: I kept that toilet seat for a whole year in 4 plastic bags just in case we wanted to use it as a prop again. That was a bad idea for what should be very apparent reasons.

Little did I know that somehow there would be  multiple glitches in the upload process that would keep me from getting it submitted by the deadline. So, unfortunately, the video never made it into competition and I wound up a sad little man.

I did actually belly flop a couple of times to get that shot, and I did get the cookie in the glass both times. It was just water in the glass though as we didn’t want milk splashing around in our pool. One Oreo did make it into the pool, and it was really cool because it dissolved at the bottom but stayed in its original shape until disturbed by an intruding hand. It then flew away in a cloud of chocolate particles and was sucked into the floor vent like a locust swarm from the Mummy.

This was one of Jeff‘s biggest rolls, as the Oreo stunt coordinator. I think he may have filmed another time but this was his largest direct involvement in any Live Charge production. Otherwise his main function was to watch and praise my work and make me feel better about making retarded crap on such a consistent basis.

The one ‘special effect’ in the whole video that was kind of rough was getting the Oreo to shoot out behind the bike. This required some fishing line and just the right camera angle so you couldn’t tell we were holding the bike off the ground. It also required John to use his sparse supply of muscles to hold the bike only an inch or two off the ground without it bouncing around or crushing the Oreo. Many a cookie lost its life in the making of that scene. Of course the end result was having a mildly crushed Oreo thrown in my face by a vindictive Dalbey who didn’t like his muscles being scrutinized.

Interesting fact: Oreos were introduced in 1912 and as of 2007 over 345 BILLION had been made.

Slightly less interesting fact: Doing belly flops while wearing a cheap inner tube is a quick way to regret life.

VASTLY less interesting fact: Oreos are 71% cookie and 29% cream.

(source for Oreo facts: Associated Press)

Ultimately I’m the only one to blame, but in Riddle Me Geek I had a character that was delightfully over the top.

This video came about when some bored co-workers built a styrofoam castle out of all the packaging materials from a new shipment of computers. They wanted to do something with it before we tore it down and asked if I’d make a video about it. Of course a few minutes later I had a whole skit written out and the castle became a minor gag.

Our cardboard horse was the best part, IMHO, and Evan’s willingness to risk life and limb to joust with John and Brand made the whole thing worth while. My willingness to risk life and limb and get tossed into the castle was not, however, worth anything as you hardly see it happen and I almost broke a rib on the cement floor. None, I repeat, none of that styrofoam broke a single ounce of my fall. It seems humans fall faster and harder.

Interesting fact: That castle stood in front of an emergency exit for the better part of a week. The fire marshal should be ashamed of himself for letting that one go.

Slightly less interesting fact: if attacked by any form of seafood it’s probably NOT a good idea to pour butter on yourself because it’s likely you’ll get eaten by a very hungry, fat American.

VASTLY less interesting fact: this video is probably still running on the big screen at the lab’s front entrance.

The story:

Some time before I moved to France, John and I had been playing around with starting to do some nerdcore. Don’t worry yourself it’s not something dirty. It’s basically nerdy, white guy, black tie rap about technology. Needless to say we never made it very far in the nerdcore scene.

However we did have an itch to do a music video, and when the opportunity popped up shortly after my return from the land of the frogs we jumped on it. You’ll notice I also had a sweet beard at this point in my life. I’d grown it while living abroad, a sign of solidarity with my distant country in some strange way. The ladies in my life tended to disagree with the awesomeness of said facial hair, but I had enough support from the fellas that I kept that thing for way too long (thanks a lot Garner, Scope).

I think I wrote Photonym in something like 15 minutes in the recording studio at EWU. I’m not sure but I know Mexidate was done in a similar time frame; regardless the lack of time spent shows through I’m sure. Not exactly a lyrical masterpiece. The track was one by Mr. Kooman and since it was a free-to-use download I’m hoping he doesn’t get mad at me down the road for using it.

We figured it’d be good to get some sweet dancing in there so we called up our buddy Brian and asked if he’d bust out some moves. Another friend, Kyle (KDUB), is a bit of a local legend as far as rapping goes so we figured we’d have him cameo. A bit of a stupid idea for a cameo though considering no one in our church knew who he was. It was fun to have him in it either way.

The lyrics are as follows:

Uh! Heck yeah y’all
-Mr. Kooman-
It’s time to roll, let’s do this uh!

Photography, the act of taking photos
you wanna mess with me? I’ll turn you Quasimodo
All of that to say I’ll hit you in the back
then dance in circles round you as my photos click and snap y’all

You want a piece of this?
You know you cannot handle this
Your aperture is way too small
Your viewfinder is bound to miss

You know I’ll take you down
I’ll make you smile I’ll make you frown
I’ll Photoshop your face and make you look just like a clown

Photology: The study of the photo
you know you are a geek
when you’re always flying solo

Photonomy: Is a photo in isolation
You know it is my fixation
An army base has a station!

Photogomy: Being loyal to one photo
You don’t wanna mess with mine
or I’ll kick you in the ho-ho! Yeah

*You know–

There are lots of things in life you can take photos of
like cats and dogs and baby birds and architecture yo

I took a picture of a man
he said his name was Stan
but in reality his name was Chase
so I shot him in the face y’all

*John originally repeated the “in your ho-ho” with quite a violently emphatic rhythm, but we edited it out just in case we’d offend anyone on Sunday morning. This was unfortunate however because the edited version was what ended up on YouTube, and it’s not nearly as funny (in our estimation).

And so began the trip down musical lane.

Interesting fact: that orange wall we danced in front of used to be a Burger King.

Slightly less interesting fact: we played the music from Dalbey’s car CD player and lip synced each shot.

VASTLY less interesting fact: filming by the dumpsters behind Safeway was a terribly (and literally) smelly idea.